Shy Pixelation

new site, old location

2006-06-09T14:13:00.000-04:00

i've finally redesigned my site...

shyeyes.org

this temporary place can finally go to sleep.

coding almost complete

2006-06-09T12:37:00.001-04:00

hopefully by tonight, i’ll be able to mark this task as complete and also be able to post my link to the new design.

am psyched!

See more progress on: re-design my website

on its way...

2006-06-09T12:37:00.000-04:00

i’ve just completed the design of my new layout. except that i want to nestle it within tables against some cool but minimal background. have not exactly decided what that background may look like but it will be very simple and monotone as to not make it look busy.

See more progress on: re-design my website

no. 3 - guiltless eating

2006-06-05T18:26:00.000-04:00

today, i indulged in a roasted pepper and feta croissant and a green tea latte for breakfast… and then indulged in a vietnamese sandwich and chinese, curry beef pastry for lunch.

no guilt. the food went down devinely.

i believe sundays are definitely a day for treats. we work hard all week – today is the day to cook as little as possible, but eat certain things that we normally would not have most times.

See more progress on: do 43 guilt-free things for myself

why i swear as much as i do

2006-06-05T18:25:00.000-04:00

yes, it’s true. i’ll admit that when i lose my cool at some one, i’m more likely to swear. though as of lately, i’ve really been able to control that side of me. the other day, an annoying man took my parking spot after i pulled over, signaled for the spot, and felt it was better to let him pass then make him wait as i planned on backing in…

i got out of the car and said, “sir! that was MY spot! i was signaling for it!” of course, i wanted to say, “what the BLEEP is you BLEEPING problem, you BLEEP-hole?”

he went on and on so instead of letting it escalate, i just walked away. was pretty proud of myself. i was even polite enough to address him as ‘sir!’

but the one area where i have very little control of my potty-mouth is whenever i hurt myself. which is quite often.

as i am a clutz. ugh. a horrible clutz.

so stubbing of the toe, and banging of the knee, is just a little too familiar for me (on a daily basis, no doubt).

it’s often then, that obsceneties flow from my mouth… almost and exactly like how shakespear would NOT recite his poetry. though the ability for the words to flow out can be a comparible rate.

See more progress on: swear less

rustling leaves

2006-06-03T19:30:00.000-04:00

while chaeli watched Max & Ruby (what she sees in that show i’ll never know) before bathtime, i found myself lying down on our bed, looking out of our large bay window.

i realized, just then, that trees that were bare only a little while ago, were green and lush! and so much taller then last year!

there was a slight breeze as the branches swayed a little. the window was open and i could hear the rustling of the leaves in the wind.

it was a breath-taking sight. i rarely enjoy nature anymore… and often forget that it can be found right out the window, most times.

as an added bonus, this morning, not too long after breakfast, i took my mug of coffee over to our sliding, kitchen door. after sliding it open, i breathed in the spring air. it was raining but the air was refreshing and slightly crisp, yet not cold at all.

the steam from my coffee rose and vanished through the screen door.

ahh… what a great feeling!

See more progress on: stop and smell the roses

no. 2 - beer... mmm... good!

2006-06-03T19:25:00.000-04:00

totally am enjoying this glass of beer as my husband does the bedtime routine with chaeli.

See more progress on: do 43 guilt-free things for myself

dialogue

2006-06-03T12:06:00.000-04:00

me: will you teach me how to catch a baseball?

him: of course!

me: good. because i grew up fearing getting hit in the face with one.

him: how come?

me: because they always seemed to land right in my face. so i just assumed it would continually hit me there.

See more progress on: learn how to catch a baseball

lets go fly a kite!

2006-05-28T20:28:00.000-04:00

today, we took chaeli to the small park across the street. with a kite in tow, she happily walked with us, knowing full well something new and exciting was about to happen.

i found myself a shady patch of grass to cop a squat.

in the near distance, i watched as chaeli jumped up and down in excitement as the wind swept the kite upwards.

my family. i thought to myself. there they are.

i noticed chaeli’s small body, compared to doug’s beside her. she is so little. but so full of life!

for a moment, i completely let go of everything else and just enjoyed the vision of father and daughter… flying a kite.

even when she got upset at something and started to cry out, “mommy! mommy!” i couldn’t help but to smile.

for one day, i know that i will not hear that little voice anymore. one day, that little voice will sound so much older… and all this before me will be a memory.

See more progress on: stop and smell the roses

failed attempt at no. 2

2006-05-28T15:18:00.000-04:00

my no. 2 guilt-free thing i was going to write about was leaving chaeli with my aunt so my uncle, doug and i could go see x-men III.

while i thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and do not regret going to see it, at the back of mind throughout the whole ordeal was guilt and worry about leaving chaeli for a couple of hours. one would think i would be use to this by now but as of lately, i have been feeling the opposite since a year ago whenever i did get babysitting.

what’s going on with me? am i just becoming more of a maternal-like person?

See more progress on: do 43 guilt-free things for myself

the talk

2006-05-25T21:24:00.000-04:00

i had a loooong talk with him last night. i told him everything that had been on my mind. all my worries… all the stress… all the pressure.

i really needed him to know that i just couldn’t handle the burden of always taking care of everything on my own. that i was close to a breakdown. and that i feared for both my mental and physical health.

there have been a lot of things, lately, that he hasn’t been doing. even after asking him for weeks on end. one result ended in a non-sufficient funds last week for our property tax… after telling him to make sure his accound had enough for the automatic withdrawal.

i was so fed up.

but i think last night’s talk did us some good. i told that i realize that i’ve been really bitchy to him. and that the cause of this was just due to so much that has been on my plate, including things that i have been doing for him.

i told him that i don’t want to be like that to him. and that i feared that if we continue on like this, we will surely end in divorce.

i made sure he knew that i was not bringing up divorce as a threat. just that it was a reality that i did not want.

i think i was able to talk to him last night in a way that didn’t go to those ugly, lashing, vindictive and angry words that i’ve done in the past.

and i think because of that, he actually listened.

See more progress on: be a better partner

better late then never

2006-05-25T14:20:00.000-04:00

okay, so while i remembered my sister-in-law’s birthday, i was definitely very late in sending out the gift. in fact, i just sent it out along with the belated mother’s day gift to my mother-in-law.

i hate mailing letters and parcels. i’m very good at getting everything on time, but very bad at the actually mailing part. as i do most of my written communication via email.

i also haven’t a clue why i used Purolator. for a 3.7 kg parcel, i ended up paying $22! wtf??!?

and for only two days earlier on arriving then Canada Post but for probably half the price. if even that.

okay, next birthday to remember. my father-in-law. which i will try to send out with the father’s day gift EARLY this time.

See more progress on: remember birthdays

and so the reason is...

2006-05-22T12:30:00.000-04:00

often, i find that anytime i take a moment or two to do something that’s just for me, i hardly ever do it without feeling guilty.

my aim, now, is to focus work on doing more activities which i enjoy, while letting go of the guilt.

i have a feeling this is going to be easier said then done.

See more progress on: do 43 guilt-free things for myself

keane

2006-05-16T21:44:00.000-04:00

I noticed tonight
That the world has been turning
While I’ve been stood here dithering around
While I know I said I’d wait around till you need me,
But I have to go
I hate to let you down

But I can’t stop now
I’ve got troubles of my own
Because I’m short on time
I’m lonely and I’m too tired to talk

- ‘can’t stop now’ by keane.

am loving this album. especially the above song. i play it over and over again.

i’ve always been that way though… even as a teen. if i loved a song, i would actually play it over and over again until the 45 (yes i am that old) single became warped, or i found myself needing a break.

i would memorize lyrics from an entire album from any given band that was one of my top faves at the time.

now, i’m lucky enough to know a whole chorus.

See more progress on: listen to more music.

creative writing 101

2006-05-16T15:13:00.000-04:00

okay, so perhaps i just don’t have the time to take a creative writing class. i’d like to. some day. hopefully when chaeli goes to school?

we could have homework time together.

for now, i’ll have to resort to self-taught lessons. and to start, i found a site with over 200 creative writing exercises: http://www.creativewritingprompts.com

See more progress on: write creatively

mother's day

2006-05-15T14:13:00.000-04:00

what better day to relax then mother’s day.

no roses to smell though – but i did get a pretty, red carnation. plus oodles of craft made by chaeli from her class.

we went to my parent’s place for brunch. doug and i packed a box of things we needed to make quiche (two kinds). i figured it would be easier to make them while my parents played with chaeli. otherwise, chaeli would want to help and everything would be much slower and more aggravating.

we ended up with a crab quiche and a spinach-feta quiche, plus a goat feta and roasted red pepper spring salad. it was lovely. and somewhat on the lighter side.

after we ate, the sun started to peek out a little. we decided to all take advantage of the weather, and got ourselves ready for a stroll.

what a nice stroll that was. it was probably my favourite part of the day. just to walk with my family while chaeli toddled with us, pointing at all the different things she saw and chattering with excitement.

See more progress on: stop and smell the roses

goal achieved!

2006-05-10T22:18:00.000-04:00

i believe i am complete.

bought a tan-brown, leather sandals (with a gorgeous heel) for $39.99.

AND… (drum roll please)... i found the handbags i wanted! of all places… ‘Bentleys’!

there i was, running around looking at all different places… Winner’s, Payless Shoes, other trendy shoe stores, H&M’s… all expensive for those that i loved, an affordable but ugly (and cheap looking).

then i realized i hadn’t gone into Bentley’s. the luggage and bag place that is affordable, always having some special going on.

so… i got a faux, black leather handbag big enough to fit all my stuff, with two pockets on the front. very cute. great stichese to accent it (cream-colour stitch). and magnet-buttons. love it.

only $24.99.

to top it, i found a really cute handbag for casual wear. it’s got a large wooden ring for the handle. the inside is brown lining that is shown through the crotchet, beaded exterior. love the beads!

only… $11 and change!

the brown, casual handbag is not the best one. i’ve seen funkier ones that are more daring but more expensive. however, for $11, i doubt i could wrong. plus – it’s adorable.

ahh… another thing i can check off my list!

See more progress on: buy a new wardrobe!

retro nights

2006-05-08T11:35:00.000-04:00

i’ve been revisting some of my old tunes. mainly from my highschool years.

ahh… it feels good. i use to spend sometime each evening, after all chores have been completed, infront of my computer this way. i would change into my p-jamma’s, light some candles, and listen to my tunes.

and then i would write with such energy and passion… clicking away at the keyboard and filling my online web diary with recent events. all with a creative twist, for the most part.

music definitely is important in my life. i’ve completely forgotten this philosophy, as it does truely feed and push my creative soul.

of course, as of lately, who can blame me? my days are mostly taken up from tunes of the wiggles and barney.

See more progress on: listen to more music.

latest trend in handbags sucks donkey balls

2006-05-07T15:25:00.000-04:00

first of all… i lied. i could do with one more fashionable sandals for work and evening out. something on the dark tan-brown colour. but haven’t found one with a price tag that i would like.

secondly, i need a couple of handbags. and while i’ve found some styles that would go well with jeans for the weekend, i’m upset with the fashion trend this year for more dressy/work-type handbags.

if i like the style, it’s too small. and i know i need something big enough to fit all my stuff. if it’s too big, the style is usually ugly. for the most part, i don’t like any of the styles this year.

and the prices aren’t as appealing as well.

so i will continue to hunt for that perfect handbag – one that will last me at least for a couple of years.

See more progress on: buy a new wardrobe!

limiting tv time

2006-05-07T10:40:00.000-04:00

she may not like it, but over the past year, i’ve noticed that chaeli has been watching more and more tv. i’m sure that on some days, she’s close to 3 hours a day, though most of the time it’s closer to 2 hours a day.

that’s too much. especially for a two year old.

i’m making a stand. limiting t.v. and NO TV during meals. i hope my mother (her caregiver during the working days) will abide by my rules.

dinner is one of my biggest concerns. i want to discipline all of us in making dinner time part of our family time. where we sit together after a busy days, all of us doing different things, in order to connect and talk about our day.

i grew up with a t.v. always on in the kitchen. and i remember there were evenings where i wanted to tell my parents things but was told to ‘hush’ because my father wanted to listen to the news.

after awhile, i couldn’t separate myself from t.v. during dinner time. and when my parents chose to turn it off because they wanted to talk to me (usually about something that i did wrong), i was not for it.

i don’t want the same thing to happen between chaeli and us. the communicatin has to stay open in order for us to have less conflicts (as there’s always enough conflicts as there is).

See more progress on: be a better parent

argh!

2006-05-07T10:33:00.000-04:00

looks like i’ll be filling this quota this week… for the rest of the month!

mother’s day is NEXT SUNDAY! and i have not yet made the gifts and cards i had planned on doing.

so this is it – craft cramming at it’s best. coming up!

See more progress on: craft more

no cake for me!

2006-05-07T10:32:00.000-04:00

i was able to withhold my love for chocolate yesterday at the party.

as it was a chocolate birthday cake. how cruel.

i took one bite from my husband’s serving (i’m a bit superstitious – a bite of cake for good luck to the birthday person). to my surprise, it was TOO sweet. so there was a bit of content KNOWING that i would not have enjoyed it.

too sweet, eh?

is it possible, that after awhile, our tastebuds lack the tolerance level it had before (as our stomachs) when we limit ourselves to overly rich foods?

See more progress on: eat more healthy

attack the clutter: day 5 (i think) part II

2006-05-04T16:38:00.000-04:00

it’s almost 5pm. in a little less then an hour, i’m going to have to call it quits for the end of the day as my mom will be heading out for the evening… and i’ll be taking care of little miss.

i’ve gotten my side of the office cleaned up pretty nicely. it’s not perfect but so much less cluttered. you can see the floor infront of both books shelsves! the piles were at least knee/thigh high. i think that alone, is a victory in itself.

also cleaned up the computer table. very good – as before the piles of crap and paper covered the entire surface. almost to the point of toppling over.

both book shelves are cleaned up with only books that we want remaining in our office (as it also poses as a library).

the shelf by the windo will be taken down and tossed. but for now, we’re using it to keep our boxes of paper work of which will be filed away in a systematic order when we finish the rest of the office.

my husband’s half is about… oh… 30% done.

he’s got more crap then i do. and has a harder time letting go of things. hence the extra clutter in hour household.

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

attack the clutter: day 5 (i think)

2006-05-04T13:55:00.000-04:00

argh! this is horrible… HORRIBLE! this is the worst room to clean in our house. and i’m completely upset that we won’t get it done by today.

zone 5 – THE OFFICE. or junkyard, depending on who’s point of view. i’m leaning towards the latter. more boxes… WE NEED MORE BOXES!

aaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh!

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

hello?

2006-05-03T16:09:00.000-04:00

i’m the leader, he’s the follower. so i know i have to make the first move.

lately, we’ve been so busy that we even when both of us are home for the evening, we barely spend more then 3 minutes together in the same room before we retire to our bed at night.

and trust me… ain’t no action happenin’ there! more like me falling asleep while he tinkers away on the lap top.

we’ve been really neglecting the ‘nurturing’ part of our marriage. i have to admit that it sort of scares me because it’s been like this more and more ever since the beginning of this year.

is this marriage? is this normal? are we suppose to feel like an old comfortable pair of slippers this soon? or socks? or mitts? or undies… no. perhaps the last one is one we shouldn’t list.

maybe i’ve been too bitchy lately. or rushed to do too much at once. maybe he’s been distant because i haven’t been approachable.

it’s not irrational. i have been focused on ‘getting things done.’ it’s been put oof too long… but now that i see a light at the end of the tunnel, i see two individuals, living in the same home…

totally oblivious of what the other one may be thinking.

ugh. i’ve got to do something about it before it’s too late.

See more progress on: be a better partner

lullaby, the smith's way

2006-05-03T15:12:00.000-04:00

i’m not one to really enjoy putting chaeli down for bedtime.

i know… i’m one of THOSE mothers… the type that is always one or two steps ahead so when i’m doing one task, i’m thinking of what needs to be done later on in the evening. in other words, while putting chaeli to sleep, i am usually thinking, okay… after this, i have to go work out. then i have to do dishes, get lunch ready for tomorrow, clean up the living room… and empty out the garbage

of course, i remember the days when chaeli was just a baby and i was on maternity leave. perhaps because there was no rush to get things ready for the next day, i allowed myself to enjoy our bedtime ritual.

and it was peaceful… because after reading her a book or two, i would turn the night off, cradle her in my arms, and feed her her bottle as we listened to music in the dimly lit room.

last night, i was quite sleepy and relaxed right before her bedtime. and so while singing to her, as i rocked her in my arm. i felt my eyes lids getting heavy as i sang to her.

it was sweet. for that moment, i enjoyed holding her, even though, she no longer fits in the comforts of my arm, but insteads, drapes herself across my torso, resting the side of her head against my chest. she was warm, which made it even more relaxing.

i sang her the usual lullabies… but ended with some smiths and depech mode.

after all, there’s nothing wrong with adding some coolness to our bedtime routine.

Take me out tonight
Where there’s music and there’s people
Who are young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven’t got one anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people
And I want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh please don’t drop me home
Because it’s not my home, it’s their home
And I’m welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes in to us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

See more progress on: stop and smell the roses

eating healthy for six weeks

2006-05-02T22:44:00.000-04:00

they say it takes at least six weeks to change a habit.

so i’m giving myself six weeks to eat healthy, limiting treats to a minimum of once a week (and of small portions). this is going to be tough as i love to just let go on weekends. but i figure six weeks is not a bad thing.

i’m now actually in my second week of my health kick. so far, so good… but there’s still four more weeks to go.

See more progress on: eat more healthy

a lacking area...

2006-05-01T23:29:00.000-04:00

ever since i went back to work, after my one year maternity leave, i have really been slacking off in the ‘date’ department. recently, i’ve felt it starting to effect my relationship with my husband.

it’s not that we don’t get along. we do. lately, we haven’t been fighting. and when we head out with little miss, to places like high park or the zoo, we have such a good time!

but i think it’s important to still go out together. just the two of us. even on a casual outting – it would do us some good.

See more progress on: go on date nights with my husband

attack the clutter: day 4

2006-04-29T20:20:00.000-04:00

today, we cleaned out chaeli’s room… zone 4! two of the closets filled mainly with my old things (most from highschool/university years). it was by far, much more difficult to clean, mainly because chaeli, after learning how not fun it was the last weekend we cleaned out zone 1, she knew right away that it wasn’t going to be a fun day when she saw me disappear and working away (she’s obviously becoming much more keen with her memory).

tantrums – ALL DAY LONG!

however, i ploughed through.

it was really interesting taking a trip down memory lane. so many things i had forgotten i had. old photos, old letters… knick knacks.

anyway… it’s done. her room has been cleaned out except for two drawers, mainly because we need to keep a few things there until we have more room from the office (the next zone to attack).

i did, however, clean out the drawers so what remains is orderly and of things we actually need.

as i clean, i’ve noticed some weak spots of areas i need to go back. but i’ll keep on working at the areas that need it the most, and go back to the few areas i want to tidy up a bit more (at least those areas are very minor and will be more manageable).

zone 5, the office. i fear it. it is the place we’ve dumped bills, paper work, documents and knick knacks into… saying we’ll get to it one way, but haven’t yet.

it is not a monstrosity.

will be taking time off from work just to tackle this one. and we’ll be sending chaeli to my parent’s place for those days. ugh.

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

life's too short...

2006-04-29T08:39:00.000-04:00

i’m the type of person who worries more then not. and who’s planning most of the time.

planning for what, you say? oh… for the future. or even for tomorrow’s ‘to do’ needs. or even for tonight’s dinner! planning, organizing, planning…

it’s not a bad thing. but i tend to forget to stop and smell the roses every now and then. something as easy as going out for a ten minutes stroll just to take in the sun and enjoy the fresh air.

sometimes, i catch myself looking at chaeli. and i have admire her and how children are so care free. i remember what it was like to be young. the joy of lying in the grass and just watching the clouds for what seemed like hours. or sitting onto of a slide and seeing how far i can see from that height. or sitting by the window sill and watching the world move just on the other side.

i miss doing those things.

See more progress on: stop and smell the roses

attack the clutter: day 3

2006-04-27T23:11:00.000-04:00

it’s thursday… near the end of the week. i was starting to sweat that i would never get a chance to continue the ‘attack the clutter’ project.

but finally, tonight, as my husband took FOREVER to get chaeli ready for bed (why is it that he takes THREE times as long as i do when getting her ready to bed? our little cheeky monkey goes to bed one flippin’ hour after her bedtime whenever he is dealing with her – arrrrrgggh!), i had a chance to head down to our living/dining room to start clearing and cleaning out zone 2.

it looked like a bomb went off… and i know that tomorrow, when i come home, it will look like another bomb went off. though not as much. my little miss has a way of whipping through a room like a tornado.

but… i did it. i chucked the extra junk (flyers, scrap, and three little koala bears that pinch onto things with their arms – you know the kinds i’m talking about – exactly what would i want with those?) i dusted. i re-arranged. i hung up jackets of EVERYONE’s. and most importantly, i cleaned up her toys.

and not just stack them up or side by side. i took all of her toys (minus some books and anything to do with art/craft, because those are things i believe should always be around for a developping child) to the basement. in the basement, i sorted and tidied all her toys there. i packed up some that she’s gotten bored with, and took a couple of key toys out.

chaeli has enough toys to play with. so much that i think she gets bored of them easily because she’s so use to have so many. and because they get disorganized in one heaping mess, it’s not always as clear cut what toy goes with what. at least not at her age.

so… i’m going to do what i’ve heard others do – rotate toys every 2-4 weeks.

i brought up two of her key toys to the living room. and that’s all she gets. there are, of course, some of her really big toys in the basement that will alwyas be available to her – too big to put away anyway.

the dining room table is spotless… aside from one little corner where we keep a bag and basket of her arts & craft supply, of which i will find space for in a drawer in a cabinet we have in the corner of the room.

which is where i stopped. i wanted to attack the bottom two drawers there but could not get to it due to the four foot high pile of newspaper, half of which my dear husband never reads.

i’ve decided to cancel our subscription. i warned him – if he couldn’t be religious in tidying up his stacks of newspaper, then i was going to cancel them. of which i’m about to.

i have… the messiest and least organized husband in the whole world. but that’s another story…

kitchen, the last part of zone two… hopefully tomorrow?

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

leading by example

2006-04-26T16:14:00.000-04:00

i’ve been more focused on eating healthy and being more consistent with my workouts lately… and while i must admit that i’m doing it mainly for my own health, a really big part of it is to raise chaeli to live a healthy lifestyle as well.

i don’t think it’s very effective to nag one’s child to eat properly and exercise when they don’t see their parents practicing what they preach.

growing up, i had issues with my weight. my parents were constantly nagging me to lose weight… but they never exercised. nor ate all that well.

i don’t want the same thing to happen to chaeli and i. i’m hoping that by being healthy, she will just incorporate it into her lifestyle as well.

See more progress on: be a better parent

attack the clutter: day 2

2006-04-24T13:13:00.000-04:00

yesterday, we completed the scrub, chuck and basic clean of our master suite bathroom. it’s a large bathroom, no doubt, so it took a lot longer then we thought.

unfortunately, we didn’t get around to the diving/living room and kitchen. i’m hoping to get to it sometime the end of this week when i know i’ll have more time.

we actually could have worked on it after chaeli woke from her nap but we really hadn’t been there for her. she was constantly trying to get our attention and while we kept her close to us, and tried our best to play with her in short spurts here and there, it was obvious that she wasn’t herself – grumpy and upset that she had no quality playtime with mommy and daddy.

so… come sunday afternoon, i made an executive decision to call it a day, and spend the remainder time with our daughter.

one thing i am proud of, though… in the evening, i had two more large baskets of cloths to fold (this is addition to the large heap piling in the corner, which i completed the night before).

in the past, i would have just left it, thinking i would do it the next day – which i would never do. as mondays, the start of the week, are always crazy-busy.

so i did it last night, put the cloths neatly away, and was able to go to bed peacefully, knowing the baskets were empty.

well… except for the underwear and socks we wore before going to bed. :)

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

craft supply nook

2006-04-23T14:21:00.000-04:00

with all this spring cleaning and ‘attack the clutter’ project, i’ve pleasantly realized that i have space in my walk-in closet for my craft supplies.

so many of my shevlves are empty now. i plan to buy some of the weaved, rectangular baskets lined with cloth so i can just pull out (or bring with me to where ever in the house i want to do my crafting) in the basket. easy slip in and slip out.

i’m excited. as we continue to clean our house, i’m realizing more and more that the reason why i’ve been procrasinating about certain homemade projects is because i simply can not get into the spirit of it w/out having some order and control over our chaotic mess.

once everything has been cleaned, i will feel more freedom to start new projects… as the ‘must-do’ lists shrinks away.

See more progress on: craft more

attack the clutter: day 1 continuation

2006-04-22T18:58:00.000-04:00

i’m done may share of the room. i can’t believe it. looking at it, it still looks like a mess but only because we have the bags and bags of cloths to move to our cars tonight (for our travel to various charity locations) and a pile of misc. items we’re not too sure what to do with. i think most will be chucked into the garbage bin tonight.

what’s left is doug’s cloths. he has so many unworn items. i hadn’t a clue how much worse he is then i am. i’ll be amazed if we get through his tonight.

tomorrow morning, i will start with our ensuite bathroom. i’m sure that will take a good part of tomorrow morning.

tomorrow afternoon, while chaeli is napping, we will work on zone 2 – the living room and kitchen. neither should take too long as we normally keep the place uncluttered (due to hosting parties and dinners).

it’s doubtful that we will have the chance to sort and chuck anywhere else for this weekend.

zone 3 will be chaeli’s room (her closet is still filled mostly with my junk (pre-doug before he moved in). it shouldn’t take too as it’s been cleaned out to make room for when chaeli came into our lives.

zone 4 is the scariest… the office. the office is our collection of junk and paper-work. when guests arrive, it’s simply, “put it in the office for now!” i hate this zone. the computer is in this zone and as we speak, i can’t stare anywhere but the monitor for fear of self-combustion.

zone 5 is the 2nd floor bathroom. it’s a small bathroom. but the bathtub has been used for storage. yes, i know… sad.

zone 6 and 7… the basement and laundry room respectively.

when we find ourselves hitting zone 6 and 7, i will feel more relief then anything else. for i know that we will find half of the things belonging to my parents where we can say, with glee, “here. take this back. now.” nothing will give me more pleasure then to shove back things that they are storing at our place. even though they have 5 times the more storage space then we do.

sigh

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

getting back to strength

2006-04-22T16:07:00.000-04:00

i use to love lifting weights… going to the gym and spending 2 hours to get my cardio and my weights in properly was like heaven to me.

but now that i’m working full time and am a parent, how realistic would that lifestyle be now? i want to spend the extra time that i have with our daughter now.

yet, i know that i can’t JUST do cardio. i need to add the resistance training back in. at some level. so i’ve found a way to via circuit training where i can use hand held waits or resistance bands while still doing cardio.

hopefully, if i do this 2-3 times a week, it will be better then nothing…

it will at least tie me over to a day (far in the future) where chaeli is older, off doing her own thing, and i have more time to lift weights (hopefully, she’ll even come to the gym with me!)

See more progress on: do resistance training 2-3 times a week

attack the clutter: day 1

2006-04-22T15:52:00.000-04:00

when i’m on a roll, i’m on a roll. the question is… do i have the stamina to keep on doing what i’m doing?

the challenge isn’t tackling the job. the challenge is finding time. AND doing it while i have a toddler who wants to be involved in everything.

alas, it does feel good to get started…

this morning, after breakfast, we went grocery shopping. i bought 20 garbage bags KNOWING that we would use all of them by the time we finish our ‘attack the clutter’ project.

we came back, had lunch, put little miss down for a nap and marched right upstairs to zone 1… the master ensuite.

since my husband and i moved together to this place, we sort of just stuffed and jammed things in storage spaces. it doesn’t really make that much sense how we organized.

no wait… let me correct myself. there wasn’t any organization. it was just a quick fix to hide the mess.

what resulted as the three years passed, was that the clutter started to accumulate. and because there was so much clutter in the already, small storage spaces, we had no more places to hide our newly acquired clutter.

well… i’m fed up with it. we’re going to clean this place from top to bottom. ALL FOUR FLOORS (including the basement that is! just like we would if we were selling and moving from this place.

anyway, i digress…

as i was saying, we are tackling zone 1 – the master bedroom, which takes up the entire third floor, which includes the master bathroom.

i have successfully, in the two hour nap that chaeli took, cleaned out my walk-in closet, while my husband sorted and chucked through all the crap on whatever surface one could find (and he dusted as well).

i have now, a bag of cloths for my mother to sort through, one for a friend of doug’s (who’s not too well off and could use some nice cloths that we don’t touch anymore) and FIVE BAGS of cloths just from ME to give to charity.

this… just from my closet alone. i have not touched doug’s closet nor my drawers yet… which i’m about to attack after this short break.

i’m hoping to clean out the bathroom tonight. and tomorrow, i want to clean up the main floor (kitchen, dining room and living room). we will also drop our cloths off at the charity bins.

hope they have room for us.

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

baskets full of laundry

2006-04-20T15:27:00.000-04:00

i’m good at washing clothe.

two times a week, on schedule, you will find me in our laundry room… separately colours from whites, washing the delicates last, putting the clothes in the dryer…

it’s the folding and putting away part i hate most. and with this past winter (my husband is out of town every other weekend to ski patrol), i just could not keep up.

what’s now left, is a corner of our bedroom with 2 baskets of clothes needing to be folded and put away. what’s worse is that the larger of the two baskets has a pile so high, that half of it could easily fill up another basket.

i don’t know what happened… motherhood? busy life? or perhaps the fact that my husband goes through so many clothes per week (what two average people go through)? when i lived with my parents, i certainly didn’t get lazy with finishing the laundry. but with my own family now?

oh lord…

so tonight. am tackling the mountain of clothes… and making my doug help me.

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

20 minute workout

2006-04-19T22:15:00.000-04:00

being busy as a mother… and not being able to afford those expensive pilates studios at the moment, i decided to borrow my aunt’s ‘winsor pilates’ series.

tonight, i did the 20 minute workout. the easiest of the series. and believe me, i was modifying moves left and right just so i can keep up.

it’s a lot tougher then it is. and sadly, my flexibility is shot.

seriously… how does one ‘roll like a ball?’ i can’t even stay in tucked in the position without rolling all over the place.

not to mention… mari winsor is annoying.

See more progress on: learn pilates

riverdale farm

2006-04-19T15:39:00.000-04:00

a couple of weeks ago, we took the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful weather.

right at the heart of cabbage town (a district in the east part of downtown toronto) is a farm. it’s truely an odd location. i didn’t know it existed until i became a parent.

but there you have it… riverdale farm.

chaeli had a fairly good time. she’s always at her best when we are out – i suppose there’s a sense a freedom that we all enjoy together. plus, the new sights and sounds distract her enough to keep her goin.

we walked the grounds and then found ourselves at this little restaurant called ‘piggies!’ the restaurant is only opened for sunday brunch, with a snack bar for the rest of the week.

yummy brunch. chaeli had a grill cheese sandwhich and fries. doug and i both shared a roasted red pepper, goat cheese over spring greens, and ordered two smoked salmon scramble with home fries and an english muffin.

we took our time home so little miss could fall asleep in the car.

See more progress on: be a better parent

scrapping

2006-04-19T14:40:00.000-04:00

easter has come and gone… i had bought a slew of things to create easter cards with.

they haven’t even been opened from their packaging.

however, not all is at lost as i have completed one birthday card for my sister-in-law… click to view.

See more progress on: craft more

a monster in my closet

2006-04-19T14:36:00.000-04:00

well… okay. not quite a monster…

but the clutter of clothes i have not touched from anywhere from 2-5 years is quite scary. INCLUDING my maternity cloths for heaven sakes.

i need to make up a rule… if i haven’t worn it in two years… salvation army here we come.

this weekend will be a rainy one. must tackle the skeletons in my closet.

wish me luck.

See more progress on: clean out the clutter

"angels and demons" by dan brown

2006-04-19T14:27:00.000-04:00

it’s been over a year since i’ve been consistantly reading. i know i need to get back in fear of my brains turning into mush.

i borrowed a book several months ago from a friend.

and i haven’t gotten past the first 35 pages or so. SAD.

a part of me feels i should give up but then another part of me feels obligated to finish it in fear of returning it after all this time and not even being able to discuss this book with her.

ugh. tonight… i promise. will read before going to bed (instead of watching t.v.)

See more progress on: read, read, and read some more

starting up again...

2006-04-19T14:21:00.000-04:00

it’s not that i DON’T do cardio – it’s just that after a couple of weeks of really intensive sessions, i make up excuses to allow for some laziness.

now that this cold is gone, i’m trying to get back into it… and this time, on a more committed level.

today, i did 43 minutes during my lunch workout.

felt good…

except… the row of cardio machines in front of me were stationary bikes. and for some reason, a man came by about a third into my workout session and re-positioned one of the bikes on an angle right infront of me.

for the rest of the workout, i felt like we were almost facing each other.

how very annoying.

See more progress on: Do more Cardio

brayden's birthday party

2006-04-11T22:24:00.000-04:00

brayden's bday party was held in one of those indoor playgrounds... grasshopper playhouse.

brilliant. more for the parents then the kids. i mean, the kids had a blast. but what made this one of god's gift to parents was that we - the parents - actually had a chance to put our feet up every now and then... AND HAVE SOME ADULT CONVERSATIONS!

no guilt here. from none of the parents. we took pleasure in letting our kids run wild while we sat and drank coffee and talked and laughed and shared stories and laughed some more...

looking around, i honestly would not believe that, growing up with these people (some as early as kindergarden), we would one day be sitting around while our own kids played togther... sharing this parental-experience, while looking at each other with the same thought crossing our minds.

we're old. and this parenting this is constantly tiring.

oh yeah...

latest chaeli news... she has started to ask 'why?'

we're in trouble.

boxes

2006-04-09T11:30:00.000-04:00

chaeli's new discovery... playing with large, cardboard boxes is cool.

well, it's not cool. she thinks it's cool.

we feel somewhat ashamed. our little girl, climbing in and out of boxes.

we didn't know what to do. so we just gave a bigger one.

her reply was, "oh kewl! bigger!"

hey - whatever keeps her busy, i always say.

sweet good morning

2006-04-04T20:38:00.000-04:00

am happy with chaeli today. even though there's so many crappy things happening to doug and i, she certainly is giving us the strength to push forward.

i technically had to leave at 7:30am this morning to get an early start. but chaeli wanted me to pick her out of her crib today. so i did. and she gave me a big hug with lots of kisses.

we lied on the bed next to each other for a moment, just staring up at the ceiling. i whispered, i love you, chaeli!

she whispered back, i you too, mommy!

'i you too' is chaeli's way of saying 'i love you.'

she wrapped her little arms tightly around my neck for another series of hugs and kisses.

i was a few minutes late leaving the house.

totally worth it.

p.s.

2006-04-02T17:41:00.000-04:00

maybe i shouldn't call this my temporary home just in case i never do get around to designing a new site?

temporary home

2006-04-02T15:39:00.000-04:00

until i find time (and the creativity) to design, i'm forced to use some one else's template. not that it's not a good template. it's actually quite a wonderful design. but i've always been finicky of using something more... well, home-made, per say.

but i can't really type a lot at the moment, because chaeli is standing next me and repeating over and over again, "what are you doin', mommy?"

except that because i'm not answering her, it sounds more like this... "whatyoudoinwhatyoudoingmommywhatyoudoinhuhwhatyouyoin???"

can i hear a very loud and solid ARRRRRGGGGGGHHH!

*sigh*